LESSONS FROM A NOW 14 MONTH OLD

All children are teachers and all adults are their students.


That said, lessons from a 14 month old

--Try anything and everything. 
  If you like it, do it again and again and again and enjoy the learning

--Take everything in (the mouth usually)
  If you don't like it, spit it out
  Immediately

--Let people know what you like and don't like
  Immediately and loudly

--Create an environment that works for you
  Your toys, your way

--When bored, stop what you are doing and walk away
  Let something else draw you

--There are no obstacles
  Push, shove, scream for help or walk right over them

--Look before you leap
  Think twice about who you want to hug

--Do it yourself, shake off unwanted help
   Eat your carrot your way

--Imitate, imitate, imitate
  Only people and things that you love

--Work hard to understand how things work
  Let go when it doesn't

--Be exuberant whenever you want to
  There is no "no,no" for joy

--Be an innocent learner
  Say yes until you are sure of "no"

--Plow through life with a smile
  All doors will open
  

YOU DON'T HAVE TO "FRIEND" ME OR "LIKE" ME

I just want you to read my work!!  
If it interests you.
And I do want you to share it with others who might enjoy it.
It's my forum to talk and think with you.

BUT I get stubborn and bashful and repelled by asking you to "friend" me or to "like" my stuff.  Friendship emerges.  Liking is voluntary.  I hate coercion or pressure on me or anyone else.  

And yet I love the connectedness and spontaneity of social media.
The creativity. The freedom. The egalitarian nature inherent in it.
So much good possible. So I shrug and use the terms that are given.

"Like me." Send me Valentines. Ask me to the Prom. Be my best friend (one of all hundred best friends) Sign my autograph book. Otherwise how will I know I'm OK?  Ugh, ugh, ugh, a thousand times ugh.  Am I the only one who feels this way?

This is my disclaimer.  
I do ask you to read my work
I want you to read my work.
I want you to like my work.
I want my work to be useful to you
I want you to share my work.

You don't have to like me or be my friend.
Possible, not mandatory

WHEN CHILDREN ARE PEERS

I write this to brag and apologize at the same time. 

(This is the apology part)
My husband and I  have all adult children at this point in time.
I mean bona fide -able to handle whatever comes into their lives -adults.
And most are parents too.
We are peer parents!!
Sort of.

We still have been first  to places they are just beginning to go.
It's called experience.
And we want to share it, forgetting that we didn't want our own parents' wisdom.  

So we bumble along, sometimes overlooking our kids' competence and age and we--oh my gosh--we nag!!  We over advise.  We have strong opinions.  We worry that we see what they don't.  It is our habit to want to keep them safe.
And there is a subtle shift that will grow over time as they begin to want to keep us safe.  And we will want to shrug that off in the same way.

But there are such lovely aspects to having adult children.
(This is the brag part.)

FOR MOTHER'S DAY--What Pleases Me About My Adult Kids:
--They love a good laugh
--I would trust any one of them to be on a jury.  They have great character and judgment
--They are curious with wide ranging interests and passions and bring their worlds to us
--They are hard workers, thanks to the family chore chart in their lives
--They are astute observers, insightful and compassionate
--I could go on a week long vacation with any one of them and we would have a ball and not get on one another's nerves (too badly)
--They know how to celebrate and express love
--They are stalwart and loyal to one another
--And most importantly--they like board games and appreciate the role of pop corn in one's life

I love you, my dear adult children!

YULE LOG? WHY NOT A MAY DAY LOG?

What can I say?
It's May.
And I have a fire in the fireplace.
A May Day log.

I'm glad it's gray and damp enough that I thought to do it.
I have been simply sitting with the fire.
Not reading. 
Not writing until now.

I have had many heart tenderizing moments lately.
Big cosmic feelings of the largeness of life and my instant in it.
Anyone's instant in it.

So it's time for some comfort and some soothing.
Those of us who are stalwart forget to do this.

I used to be diligent about lighting a candle when we sat down to eat or when I had a tough desk job to do.  I always traveled with candles that could make any lousy motel room cozy. And when one of my kids has an important moment I light a candle for them--births, big presentations, travel. (I seriously light it and put it in the bath tub for safety)  You know I do.  In fact I have one burning now for the heathy welcome into life of a new and imminent grandchild.

Ooops.  Just slipped into revery.
Where was I?

I know.  I'm bringing back the candles!
That tiny flame calms, slows, warms, settles, provides beauty and movement.
That's a lot from a candle.
Know that you need all of those candle goodies.
This world is at an odd moment.
We need tiny moments of peace.

AND the universe is sooooo funny.  I just wrote "Peace" and the phone rang with a creditor for some bill that didn't get paid while we were in Mexico!!!
I need a bonfire now.