LOVELY LAZY LUXURIOUS TERRIFYING LETHARGY

Whooooooooa.  Mmmmmmm.  Morfgaphama. 
I've been in Mexico two weeks.
My husband and I live here part of the year and own a house.

The first week is always finding and fixing stuff.  Computer connections not connecting, washing machine not washing, light bulbs not lighting, (however also snow not snowing)  Brain madly trying to dig for Spanish words like toilet paper and carrot.  Making up words by adding ito or ato itito to English words and then smiling.  (Try acting out toilet paper)

Then I jumped into a five day Writers' Conference put on in San Miguel.
Top notch. Big deal.  Workshops, networking, jibber jabber, producing,
pitching to agents---New York energy in Mexico.  Go away.

And now -- por fin, I have entered the peaceful calm of lethargy. Beyond relaxing.    I sit on a balcony surrounded by a railing full of geraniums filtering sunlight so the leaves look neon.  A pepper tree grows close and make a lacy filter to the almost beginning sunset.  Hummingbirds snap at one another wanting to eat alone at the feeders.  I am surrounded by books and my iPad.
I don't read.  I am in pre-snooze mode.  Does three naps in one day mean you didn't ever wake up?  I am almost thinking of and almost getting up for a glass of wine, but then that would mean moving.  It is no temperature here.  Not hot, not cold.  The no temperature when your body doesn't register too hot or too cold. 
  Reminds me of recovering from surgery. That drug induced moment of no pain, nothing to be done, comfort in knowing it won't last but loving the respite. I get a little afraid I'll never come out of the stupor state. That's the terrifying part of lovely lethargy.  What if I get stuck in this state of no urgency, no energy, no oomph. No creative surge.  What if indeed?


 Then again, that's what Mondays are for--snap you right out of that lethargy--even in Mexico.

In the meantime--Mmmmmf, morfaphama, whoooa, shzzzla pft.

HEART SMARTS

So did you make it through Valentines's Day without any sense of disappointment, obligation, rejection, or feeling false and foolish?
And are you over 12 years old?
If you did, mark it in your calendar.
It doesn't often happen that people have a Happy Valentine's Day.
It is such an overwrought day.

I am happy to announce that my husband and I did not celebrate Valentine's Day at all.  With our grandchildren, we did, but not the two of us.  We did nice little things for one another during the day and that was it.  No cards.  No flowers.  Just a little extra lovingness.   Free at last!

I'm kind of tired of the heart focus of our culture in general.
We are on a pendulum swing from "head, logic and brain" focus being dominant into the sloppy, self-indulgent expression of all emotions.
Actually we've been schizophrenic along the head- heart continuum for a while.

So let's hear it for the intelligence of the heart that resolves this conflict of head and heart.  It is the study and focus of the wisdom of the heart that gives us a true steady place to act from.  It is both biological and spiritual.  It's goal is not happiness per se.

Here are some Valentines for you on the intelligence of the heart:

The HeartMath Solution by Doc Childre & Howard Martin
The Heart's Code by Paul Pearsall
The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav
The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton
Molecules of Emotion: The Science Behind Mind-Body Medicine by Candace Pert

Here's to smart hearts

PETE SEEGER GOT IT RIGHT!

I wonder how many of you know Pete Seeger.
Folk singer.  Just died.
Writer and popularizer  of many famous songs :
If I Had a Hammer
Turn, Turn, Turn and so many sixties/seventies folk songs.
And the absolute the best song album for kids ever.  Look it up.

His life personified what many of us blather about.
He was who he was who he was who he was.
Always.

He did what he loved to do--sing.
Others might have sung better but not with such joy in doing it.
His truest joy was singing with others.

He included others as naturally as breathing.
He created several singing groups
He never gave a concert that didn't end up with hundreds of people singing along with him.
He galvanized people to clean up the Hudson River.  How?  By singing a song and starting small with something he could do and then kept doing it.  Essentially he built a boat and sailed the Hudson singing.

He kept his innocence in the power and pleasure of singing even when
he was blacklisted and kept off the stage,radio and tv for five years.
He would not testify that he had never sung to a Communist.
His reply was that he would sing to anyone anywhere who wanted to sing along.

He lived in a cabin mostly built by himself.
He was married to the same woman for over 60 years.

He lived simply.
Spoke simply.
He never betrayed himself or others.
He used his gift fully.
He loved with permanence.
His simple actions had big broad world impact.

He would have done them whether they did or not.
His integrity was impeccable.

Pete Seeger did indeed get it right.

LIFE LESSONS FROM A NINE MONTH OLD

I just spent three days sequestered in a hotel room with a nine month old.
Just me and my beautiful granddaughter.
Needless to say, we did not discuss the state of the world.
I joined her world.
Here's what I learned:

--Never cry one second longer than the pain lasts

--Dive into full blown laughter for no reason at all

--Don't have any story in your head about failure.  It's all learning.

--Explore things by turning them every which way

--Know who isn't for you and refuse to go close to those you don't trust

--Take your time understanding a situation

--Grab for what you want

--When you are tired of something, just drop it

--Express everything with your whole being

--Sleep when you are tired

--Eat when you are hungry, stop when you are full

--Let people take care of you

--Love easily when you feel safe

--Wake-up happy

TRUDGERY DRUDGERY DOO

I don't know if it's because we're heading into February or because of holiday let down, but I've got that trudge feeling.

I remember climbing a long long long rickety wooden staircase in a jungle in Thailand.  I was out of shape and probably had some heart stuff going on.
I had to use "Trudge Rules" to make it. 

--Don't look up.  
Go 25 steps and stop for a count of 5.
Don't think about how you ended up facing this challenge.
Don't think about how other people are doing (charging up the stairs)
Don't think about where the top of the steps is.
Look around and enjoy during the 5 step rest.
Do not break your forward moving rhythm.
Keep it manageable if not pleasurable.
Work within your own capacity--

That's how I got to the top.
No drama.
No crisis.

Never underestimate the power of trudging.
It will take you places you thought you couldn't reach.
Stretch can come a step at a time.
Grand goals can come with steady pacing.
Getting to the top can be boringly methodical.

"Trudge Rules" rule!!!

OPTIMISTIC PESSIMIST

I began to think about resolutions and gagged to a stop.
What a perfect arena to be an optimistic pessimist.
Yea for starting.  Nay for assuming failure.  Yea.  Nay.  Yea.  Nay.

I really am an optimistic pessimist.
Did you know pessimists hit the nail on the head as far as predictions go?
Optimists not so much.
There's all kind of research on this.  
We need optimists to spur us on and pessimists to keep us grounded enough to get something done.

So am I a happy sad person?
A positive negative person?
A light hearted dark person?

I don't know.
Joseph Campbell (as always) says it best for me.
I'm a joyful realist.

Go Joe:

"The warrior's approach
is to say 'yes' to life.

Participate joyfully
in the sorrows of the world.

We cannot cure the world of sorrows.
but we can choose to live in joy.

When we talk about
settling the world's problems right
we're barking up the wrong tree.

The world is perfect.  It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.

We are not going to change it.

Our job is to straighten out
our own lives."

Joseph Campbell

THE URGE TO PURGE AND OTHER PRIMAL RHYTHMS

There is a rhythm to the holidays that is deeper than tradition.
No matter how I try to resist some of them, they are not to be ignored and they will be expressed.  Even without modern advertising and communication and consumer frenzy, these impulses would be with us, in us.

There is the darkness theme.  The need to pull in, quiet down and to gather. This is the time for hope over fear--for reflection of "better" to come.
It is time to eat together-- the more the better, the fatter the better, the more indulgent the better.  It is a pre-hibernation feast.

There is the urgency and drive of building to one moment of celebration.
By Christmas, decorations have to be up, gifts ready and food cooked.
There is a pinnacle of expectation, followed by a purge.  You can see this tracked with specificity  in home magazines.

And there is an urge to give, to delight, to please, to tease, to have a feeling of abundance, enough to share.  The size or value does not matter one bit if the gift shows you are seen and matter and someone wants to make you happy.
I asked my crew, "Would you rather give or receive the exact right gift?"
Giving won, but the best it was decided when all are giving and receiving at the same time.

At one point, my daughter-in-law and I laughed and said, "Why are we doing all this?  We could all just agree to take it easy for the same amount of time as we take preparing."   We do it for all of it.  The planning, the laying in of stores, the huddling against the dark and cold, the giving and loving, and the rest and relief of a purge, of having a big celebration over.  And we do it for the hope of something holy.

These are deep human needs that won't be managed away.