PARENT EMIRITUS

Most of you know I have five adult kids all over 35 and some grand kids too.
They are fully functioning wonderful adults but they are my children.
I'm still learning that they are just fine in the world--with me or without me!
It's a new stage to be loved but not needed.
Part relief. Part loss. 
It is their time to be in the forefront bumping into the world.

And there are great joys in this stage.
Last night I watched my daughter sing with 3 great back-up musicians.
I've seen her many times but this was my daughter at her best--sassy, loose,
improvisational and heartfelt.  A pro. (Do check out Megan Jo Wilson)

Another time I got to watch my son be the press liaison for the Dali Llama in Massachusetts. Long back story to that.  There were thousand of people, high security, pushy journalists breaking security rules and everyone wanting to see and touch the Dali. My son was on, alert, making quick decisions, guiding events, totally professional and polished----and having fun.

I could go on, giving more examples of all my "kids"--moments of their pure adult competence.

Here's how you know when your kids are truly adults:
You enjoy watching them work and are not nervous for them
If something goes wrong, you don't even think of helping.
You experience them like others in the audience do, not just as your kids
You know you could not do what they are doing.
They look to peers before they look to you for affirmation of work well done.
They handle grown-up pain on their own.

Very gratifying and weird at first. But wonderfully freeing too. Your attention can return to you.  
You are now adjunct, parent emeritus!