WANDER LUST OF THE BRAIN

My brain has wander lust.  That's a very good thing.  It means I'm ready to explore, get more grist for the mill.  I'm tired of familiar topics and interests.  The Internet is perfect for this kind of refreshment.  Bumping into disparate things is the basis of most creativity and innovation.

Don't make sense of your interests.  Just follow your nose.  

For instance:

 I want to paint.  I do every once in a while for friends or kids birthday cards.

 I want to look at kids' art.  It slays me because it's so good.

I want to watch ballet on streaming video and compare dancers.  Why? I dunno.

I want to read vegan recipes til I'm ready to cook some.  Takes a lot of cashews to replace cream!!

I want to speed watch House of Cards so I don't get too scared or disgusted.

I want to understand the mathematics behind crop circles

I want to read fictional history of the middle east---as if any history isn't fictional

I want to read specific shaman practices of the Inca--I just do!

I want to play Bubble Witch--I've ditched Candy Crush.  I hate those creeping chocolates

I want to respond to people on my Linkedin page

I want to see if i want to read Boswell's biography of Samuel Johnson

I want to not read for a week to see what emerges

Listen to Joseph Campbell:

--Wandering time is positive.  Don't think of new things.  Don't think of achievement, don't think anything of the kind. Just think, 'Where do I feel good?  What is giving me joy?'---

A COZY TRIBUTE TO ROBIN WILLIAMS

My son and daughter-in-law and new baby (3 months) live in a small apartment complex.  Maybe 12 units. They are friendly with one another but not a group that gathers as a whole to celebrate or party.

In honor of Robin Williams, one neighbor sent out an invitation to join together to watch a Robin Williams movie outside. They set  up on top of the concrete flat roof garages and projected the film on the side of the building. They voted for Good Will Hunting to watch. People came with their pillows and chairs, some in pajamas.  Four couples came carrying baby monitors. A cozy, easy, flannel lined, coming close to celebrate Robin.

So, dear soul Robin, see this kind of love for you and of you-- connecting people who are not naturally connected to give some happiness and to ease any sorrow for a while.

You knew both happiness and sorrow so well.  Thank you.

I AM MY OWN BEST DATE

I forget how much I like to go on a date with myself.
Last night I went alone to hear my daughter sing as lead vocalist in a local big band. I hesitated. My husband couldn't go. All my friends had other plans.
I almost gave it up. Didn't start til late. All younger people would be there. I had a good book to read at home.

WHAT?? WHAT??
I had forgotten how fun it is to go out and about alone.
I didn't learn the enjoyment of being my own date until my work included lots of international travel. I learned to go out to eat alone and love it--not pretend to love it like lots of lone eaters do, but to love it. I would get the best table to sit and watch people. I would order exactly what I wanted and would eat slowly and just look at people. Stare even. It was so liberating to get that comfortable in my own skin. 

Now I happen to  love an anonymous hotel room. Love love love it. Nothing belongs to me. I don't have to clean it, refurbish it, get rid of it, or change it. I travel with a candle so any room can be cozy. But I would get  get hotel room fever and have to go out.  I had conquered eating alone, so I had to learn ho to do entertainment alone.

My initiation was to go to Cirque du Soleil by myself. I was scared/exhilarated. What freedom!  No coordinating, no one early or late, everything so easy.  And the experience was so much better, richer. I dove in. Ooooohed and aaaaawed and clapped with delight like a kid. I learned the same to be true with museums and movies. No distractions. Bigger experience.  

Am I a misanthrope?  I'm beginning to wonder, but I'm talking about something else--not hating to be with others but enjoying being with just me.
Anyway, I had forgotten the pleasure of going out on a date alone.  
Not waiting for others, not discussing what to do, no coordinating moods, just you.  Who better?  Why would anyone go out with you if you aren't your own best date?  I'm going to ask myself to go steady.

I WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!

I wanted to write about going to see my adult son run in the Beach to Beacon race in Cape Elizabeth, Maine.  It's a real deal race.  Top international runners, beautiful road to run, lovely community that supports every runner from fleet to not so. Eight thousand runners in a race that is well organized, friendly and civil. Somehow my husband and I, daughter, and granddaughter managed to not see a glimpse of our guy racing. Nothing. The funny story was about how we managed to make up stories about what had happened. It's so hard to tolerate "not knowing".

BUT, I have just finished reading a book called The Good Spy by Kai -----.
It's basically about the Middle East and the bombing of the Beirut, Lebanon
American Embassy in 1983. It gives tons of background to the devastating Israel/Palestine bloody cudgeling of one another. It got graphic about the aftermath of the bombing and suddenly I was first angry, then sad, then discouraged, and lastly defeated.

Now it is easy to get into staunch positions on this topic. Passions and religious rights are ancient and beyond strong into nuts. And we can tsk tsk about the crazy Middle East.

BUT then, I think about a very local issue.  A successful, much loved local supermarket chain is involved in a family feud that is literally killing their business and all they have created as a family, They have never been able to make a collaborative decision about anything. The upshot is their employees are boycotting their own stores in favor of an ousted leader. The chain has lost millions of dollars.  A competitor has gained a windfall from hate.

Maybe I am writing about the Beach to Beacon race after all.
As families, as communities, as nations, we can't afford this kind of entrenched 
hate. Hate that can't respond to good, that has no "give" in it, that is blind, self defeating and contaminating of those around it.  

What do I do? I try to manage my own sense of outrage that could disintegrate to hate.  I try to keep enlarging my lens about what it means to care about the "whole".  I wrestle my strong opinions into reasonableness.
I keep my eyes open to my own ability to hate.  

The Beach to Beacon race was indeed a beacon of what its like to experience
support for what is good in being part of a group, community, nation. I'm hanging on to that.