Monday, May 30, 2016

ISN'T ANYBODY MELANCHOLY ANYMORE???

As a reader and a writer I love when I or anyone else uses the just right word.
There's a term for it --'mot juste'.  I experience a real sense of relief or 'aha' when I hit on the just right word. And I just did it when I wrote the word 'melancholy'.  (It's so 1890's)

I have been melancholy this week. (Look at that word long enough it looks darn weird.)
I have had some reason for worry and sadness lately but this melancholy was different.
It wasn't attached to anything specific. "Pensive sadness". Yep, that is it. Mot juste.

Memorial Day may have brought it on. First of all, I'm from the Midwest where we celebrated Decoration Day and boy did we decorate. We put red, white and blue crepe paper through our bike spokes and stuck American flags in the lawn up the sidewalks. By "we" I mean the 36 kids that lived on my one block. Small block too. Then we walked 15 blocks to Broadway for the parade. We were a swarm of kids. Our parents came too but we weren't aware of them. In the afternoon, we had our own parade riding our bikes up and down the street, around and around. We were proud of being proud of our country. We were aware that people were remembering family members who had died and we were sad when Taps was played at the park monument. (My brother who played the trumpet played Taps. I would bring a lemon and pretend to suck it to try to make his mouth water so he would flub up.) 

In other words:
We were not inured to the horror of war.
We loved celebrating the red,white and blue with no skepticism or irony.
We were safe safe safe to roam.
Our parents were background figures that held steady and didn't live our lives.
We were, oh, so wonderfully innocent.

It's a rainy day here in Maine.
Barbecues aren't enough to honor our dead from war.
I'll stay with my melancholy.
It's my honoring.



Monday, May 23, 2016

HODGE PODGE



I think books and stuff on aging and death will become even more prevalent than before---maybe even more than diet books!!!  And so the following reflection:

It's a great time to get old
We boomers rule
Always on trend, setting the trend
We'll pave the way
To being old
(Not as in getting only older, not Senior, not any other soporific
But as the coolest, most happening thing ever
Watch us, the generation of high self-esteem
Even in diapers!


AND I am a certified book worm.  Before Kindle and iPad I used to travel (frequently) with seven books and only two outfits in my overnight bag.  To hell with the clothes.  I actually get nervous with the idea of how many great books there are to read that I may not get to. I have to know I have a stack of books waiting. This is an addiction, people. Now that I am back from Mexico, I will call the library and order a stack of books and they will arrive and be held for me like a big Birthday bag of goodies.  I will forever thank Benjamin Franklin for the library concept.
Here's my list of next books:

The Way We Never Were

A Little Life

Our Souls at Night

Did You Ever Have a Family

The Violet Hour

In Montmartre

Bettyville

Mislaid

Purity

The Green Roak

A Manual for Cleaning Women

Seven Brief Lessons on Physics

Gene

LaRose

The Life We Bury

Everyone Brave is Forgiven

Someday I'll share by list of recent books read

PS.  I recently read High Dive and my book buddies didn't like it and I went nuts for it.  Check it out.  Literally.



Monday, May 16, 2016

WHAT IS IT ABOUT 'LAZY'?

 Lazy--
*Not liking to work hard or be active
*Moving slowly
*Not energetic or vigorous
*Not rigorous

As we head into summer, we are given permission, if not an obligation, to be lazy. As in lazy days of summer.  When did you start not having them?  When DID you have them? The concept of lazy has me a little crazy. (Did not plan that rhyme.)

I'm thinking about this because I received five emails this week from friends calling themselves lazy. None of them are, but that's how they self-labeled what they were doing (or not doing). I so get it. I have the same monkey on my back. I somehow have to 'earn' the down time of so-called laziness. I see our culture's craziness in how we turn leisure into productivity--how many runs down the mountain, how many miles in a bike ride, how many pounds lifted. I believe there is a human need to produce, to make impact, to keep busy to survive as in "go get that food."

And there is another human need to be lazy.
Think the kind of summertime lazy when you were a kid.

-- No awareness of time and how to 'use' it
--Sliding easily from doing to not doing
--Sitting and waiting for the next thing to happen 
--Just sitting
--Unaware of playing as 'play'
--No sense of time or constraint
--A spacious sense of freedom 

I read that and think of the planning going on in my life for summer and I wince. I want more 'lazy' and, not being a kid, will have to build it in. Or let the kid in me run away to play.

Monday, May 9, 2016

DO WE PROTEST TOO MUCH???


First let me say, that I had a nice Mother's Day. Not too much fuss. Nothing overblown. Felt loved and appreciated. Eaaaaaaasy day. I remember Mondays after Mother's Day at work. Mom's would share crazy stuff their husbands did or did not do. New moms would be hurt if new dad's didn't make enough fuss. Some kids would call, others wouldn't. Or some family member would make it too big a deal or ruin the day with selfish expectations. Non-moms would feel out of it or irritated. Flowers at work would be a kind of mandate.

My just right day got me thinking about how we, as a culture, pump things up so. I would like to forbid superlatives for a month.  Why do we need to use every ounce of our potential? Why do we all have to be powerful, the best, the most unique and special and push push push to perfection?  What if none of us is that special? I do cringe a little as I write that.  But you get the idea. We are not so amazing, so awesome much of the time. So let's give ourselves a break when we are mediocre, average and not so noticeable! Heresy or relief?  

I don't mean to be heading into curmudgeon hood but noticed how satisfying a low key Mother's Day could be. I had a good Mother's Day, not the best ever, magical, unbelievable Mother's Day--a good one. 


Monday, May 2, 2016

ADIOS!

 What on earth?? I had no idea you could put a photo on a blog!! so much to learn!  So little time!  Talk about burping along.
I had this photo on my desk top and so thought, "What the hell! I'll drag it over and see what happens." How fun is this?  Kind of random, but fun! 

So, this photo was taken at a nearby rancho.  Every home and every rancho has its own altar and every one is different.  The tile picture of this altar is of the Virgin of Guadalupe and it says this is to bless "WORK". Very appropriate. This was a very modest and neat-as-a-pin ranch. This rancher has built aqueducts of wood to water his fields. The house is made out of homemade adobe. The house was gracious and cool with arched portico and columns made of hand chipped stone and built with no cement to help.  

Wow!  Orayo (that's Spanish for 'wow')  I call this blog Truth Burp(s) because I never know what's going to come out on the page. I started with "adios" before I started to mess around with photos, so back to:

ADIOS TO:
Fire crackers at 3 in the morning
Michelados (have you every had one?)
Carrying groceries up about 40 steps
Doing the San Miguel stumble over cobblestone streets, lurching into stores
Haircuts for 7 dollars
Gorditas--big fat corn tortillas with a pocket to stuff with things like tripe
Goofy pizzas with no spice or flavor--but served with hot Mexican sauces
Weddings in the Jardin that I bump into often walking to do errands
Church bells all day long
Bitter limeade with mineral water
Packed buses grinding up the hill to our street, impossible to get off unnoticed
All our Mari neighbors--Mari Luz, Mari Cruz, Mari Paz, Mari Elena, Mari Anna and Pilar and Taylor, Lorena, Patricia, Cristina, Estrella, Juan, Irma, Monce, Alejandro, Geraldo, Jose Luis, Petra, Raquel, Yoko, Efrain, Pablo---our crew in good times and bad for work and celebration and support.
  
ADIOS, SAN MIGUEL! HASTA LA PROXIMA!
HOLA, MAINE!