CHEERY AND BLEARY (THANKS TO THE CUBS!!)

I had a very good day yesterday. 
Very normal events.
Here's what made the difference:
(So easy-peasy it's kind of embarrassing)

I was clear about my priorities
I set and met my goals.
Simple. I wish.

And that, dear readers, is what it takes to make me happy.
I have an inordinate sensitivity to time passing based on the close-up seat I had to a shocking tragic death of a family when I was 12 years old. I learned to savor life very early and to not 'waste' time with mindlessness. I kept mementos 
and journals with a vengeance and still do.

 (I put a bite of hamburger in a scrap book because a boy I liked had left it on his plate! Hey, I wrapped it in wax paper!!) And I still have the handkerchief of a boyfriend who first kissed me at a dance and then gave me his handkerchief to wipe off lipstick. Such wonderful innocence)

I'm not talking about grand choices. I'm talking about the relief of using time
exactly at you want.

I woke up and read New York Times Book Review in bed with coffee
I had time and silence alone in the house with no phones on.
I did my kind of prayer and wrote a few reflections.
I grocery shopped with a menu in mind with family for dinner
I cooked a great lamb and lentil stew--first Fall soup!!
Family came over and I played with a nine year old, a four year old and a three year old. My peers! We smeared the yard with spider web globs.
Pumpkins were carved.
Kids gone. Husband writing on third floor. I watched the Cubs game and did clean-up during the ads. They hung on to a win around midnight. 
Took the roasted pumpkin seeds out of the oven, munched a few and went to bed.


I knew my priority for the day (which involved saying a clear'no' to many other things.) My idea of hell is doing one thing while wanting to do something else or having a vague nag sitting on my shoulder.
 So---
I knew my priorities
I set my goals. 
I lived them.
Day by day that makes a very good life.

A SMATTERING OF GOOD STUFF!

The Cubs are going to the World Series!! Makes me believe good things can happen even after a long time of not happening. Go Cubbies.

My granddaughter is still curious and puzzled by how a toilet manages to flush.
May she keep that kind of mini-wonder.

There is a tree by the ocean that looks like a giant head of broccoli on its stem but it is an improbable color of deep blood burgundy and pink!! 

I did a reading of my book I PRAY ANYWAY: Devotions for the Ambivalent  and I turned it into a discussion. A random group of people talking about prayer, religion, belief or none, that became sacred because we listened deeply and without judgment to very different strong thoughts and experiences. 

I am taking a class on DREAMS. It is deep, as in Jungian, and satisfying as we share dreams and interpret them for one another knowing it is all  projection but that there are nuggets of wisdom and insight for the dreamer to choose from. The assumption is that dreams are your unconscious knocking at your door to move you to wholeness. How about that?? 

Read about a book I hope to love because it already makes me laugh. Rules for Others to Live By  by Richard Greenberg.
 — Sick of 'living in the moment' talk, he says, "I am always in the moment. The moment that I'm in happens to have taken place 50 years ago!"
—  "Mediocrity is, at its best, competent and a little shy. Aren't these the qualities we look for in a neighbor?"
— Talking about a woman who withdraws from the world. Greenberg writes, " As her tether loosened her updo rose. Her hair had passed beehive and attained silo." 

The big world and mine (and yours too is my assumption) are often hard to 
manage, to live in, to maintain hope in. Never underestimate a smattering of good stuff. It keeps the engine going and primes the pump for more.

JUST FOR FUN!

I subscribe to the New York Times Book Review and it is my Sunday afternoon pleasure. I am such a book worm that I am actually relieved when I don't end up with a list of books to read. In the Book Review there is always an interview with an author who usually has a new book out. I offer my answers JUST FOR FUN and want to hear yours JUST FOR FUN. I'm just curious. Let me know.
OK let's play!

NYT--What books are currently on your nightstand?
     "My books are on my nightstand, under the bed, in the bathroom and on the kitchen table. They are: Commonwealth  by Ann Patchett, The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead, Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton. Messy:The Power of Disorder to Transform Our Lives by Tim Harford (a book I should have written, being an expert on 'messy' and Eleanor and Hick: The Love Affair That Shaped a First Lady by Susan Quinn

NYT--What's the last great book you read?
     A GENTLEMAN IN MOSCOW by Armor Towle. I loved it. I even said I was enchanted by it. How's that for hyperbole. It was charming, civil, captured a historical era easily, had wonderful characters full of heart and a lovely almost fairy tale tone. Storytelling at its best! 

NYT--Do you have an all-time favorite author?
     Nope.

NYT--What moves you most in a work of literature?
     This is not so easy. Hmm. Depth. Writing that makes me smile when it is so fresh and so right. At least one character that wants to do some good. An author voice that comes through that is thoughtful about the big picture of life.
Characters that I like and can imagine when the book ends. And I love stories that take place in a strong culture and context.

NYT--What book would people be surprised to find on your book shelf?
     THE ORIGINS OF CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE BICAMERAL BRAIN.Yep.
I love books about the biology of the brain and of new physics. I remember none of it after I read it but I keep at it.

NYT--You are having a dinner party. What three writers would you invite.
     Ann Patchett, Anne Tyler and Kate Atkinson. I think we would laugh our heads of and be BFF's.

There are other questions but, hey, I'm doing this for fun on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Try a few and send your answers to me.  I won't share unless you say OK.  

PS--I love Gronk. (I am a Patriot fan.)
      I love the Cubs
      I hate the crazy nasty clown trend
      Pop corn makes my day right
      My granddaughter and I shout "Hooray for Red" everytime we see it. 
      I'm always a little blue on Sunday night
     

I am living in 'theatre of the absurd' or you could call it my life.
Get up early today for time alone to think and write
Fire alarm goes off. No fire, no cooking, no smoke. Adrenaline high. Try saying 'om' in a state of high alarm. Just not the same.
Forgot Columbus Day totally--and that I was going to babysit for my granddaughter because daycare was closed for the holiday (granddaughter that daycare said had lice, I mean nits. (Doesn't 'nit' sound better---less bad reputation for g'ma!!) Oh and for two other kids as well. OK.I like kids. Then again, they tend to hug and touch hair!! Still no problem. I like kids. 
Go to write this blog and no Internet. No reason. Fire alarm burps. I squelch it.
THAT KIND OF MORNING.

So I write now and realize that the theatre of the absurd today is a hangover from last night and the Clinton/Trump debate. 'Theatre of the Absurd' as in the portrayal of the human struggle in a senseless world!!  I never can just sit and watch. I either want to be the candidate or the moderator. Some kind of hubris there but true. 

So I decided to Tweet during the debate. Whooooooa. There is an alternative universe. It showed itself to be so diverse as to be truly crazy.
It went something like this:
--Clinton just lied
--Trump just lied
--Want to find the purpose of your life? Sign up for Shifting and Sighing online course
--Private parts are more important than poverty- Big Mouth
--Want to be rich? -Sign up now for marketing your wonderful self 
--Trump's prowling
--Clinton's smugging her contempt
--Recipe for Syrian stuffed grape leaves
--Taxes--up no down no up no down  Middle class still screwed
--Optimism has no cost--Buddha Boy
--We are watching a funeral for the United States
--Together we will do it
--Make America great again
--Clinton just lied
--Trump just lied
--Can't Clinton wear a skirt?
--Is Trump's hair made of cotton candy?
--She's interrupting
--He's interrupting
--Oh yeah, he's a bad person
--Oh yeah, she's a worse person
--But his kids are OK
--And she's so strong for a woman
--Rev up your metabolism with magic powder

No wonder my head spins, the fire alarm goes off and I have no Internet connection.
I have shorted out.
Pzzzzzzzzt!

DAYS OF AWE

I am not Jewish but I have always been attracted to and by the High Holy days of Rosh Hashanah followed ten days later by Yom Kippur. I first learned about them when visiting a Synagogue on an ecumenical field trip of some sort from my Methodist Church when I was in sixth grade. I was more interested in holding hands with my boy crush of the week but I impressed and intrigued by the rituals and preparation for The Days of Awe.

Let's talk 'awe' for a minute. We've forgotten what awe is, as we call everything 'awesome' from food to a movie. Awe is a very big deal--a kind of reverence and profundity mixed with a dash of fear leading to repentence. Methodists didn't do much awe when I was twelve but I knew it when I saw it.

Rosh Hashanah is what New Year's ought to be. You are held accountable.
The Book of Life is opened for the ten Days of Awe. And probably you've messed up quite a bit. So you have this protected and protracted time to sit yourself down and think about it. (Synagogue services are long and often during this time.) And here is the hard part and good part and the healing part; you are expected to ask people directly for forgiveness for any wrong you have done. (Maybe ten days is not enough!) Then your name goes back in or stays in the Book of Life for another year. You stand in good stead. 

I like everything about The Days of Awe.
--enough time to be profound and not perfunctory
--communal remembering of history and lessons learned
--fasting to remind us of the ability to reject  temptation
--everyone in a community cleansing and healing at the same time
--individual and group accountability
--a sigh of relief and a renewed commitment to do and be better.

I always ask forgiveness for any wrong I may have done during the past year  of my Jewish friend Eileen during The Days of Awe. It feels great good to do it. Out loud.
Think if we took time for awe and accountability and forgiveness in a systematic way with our families. 'Awesome' would be the right word.