Monday, September 29, 2014

VACATION SUCKED!


Monday--not doing so well on challenge.
Wake up to husband measuring windows for possible replacement
(passive aggressive?)  No, just narrow focus on a goal.  
Sums up my week though. 

I did minimal computer work but missed it.I have to admit that coming to the computer does feel like a vacation. MY world.  My choice what to do.  Refreshing surprises.  Manageable Comforting.  No wonder we run to them.  Like a pacifier. Self-soothing.  

 I did stay up til 1:30 every night reading and speed watching Mad Men with not thought of "having" to go to bed.  Not the sort of soulless fodder to gorge on before bed. I had a Mad Men hangover every morning. Almost made me want to smoke too.  

Lessons learned:

--My computer is fun. Don't want or need a break from it. In fact I did a virtual college reunion last week when I and others couldn't go in person.  It made for a better, deeper connection among whole group. We wrote questions and memories for the 3 day event.

--Hard to take big break when your spouse isn't. Being under on roof takes  
  coordination and contact.  And he was great at keeping it minimal.

--The universe frequently has ironic humor. Went for an indulgent facial.
   Two hours!! Left with warning about cancerous spot that needs immediate a
   action!!

--Sweet surprise moments are just as good as a vacation. More refreshing.
  A slow walk (not exercise) with my husband, musing about everything.
  Watching a TV football game with my 18 month old granddaughter on my lap
  (content and not squirming)

--A creative collaborative meeting with the woman who is working with me 
  on my book--I PRAY ANYWAY--Devotions for the Ambivalent.  No vacation is 
  better than creative collaboration

--Working too hard to have a vacation isn't one

So vacation sucked, but life was good





Monday, September 22, 2014

SIGN ON DOOR---GONE READING!



I'm on a self-declared vacation.
I'm going nowhere.
As in nowhere.
No packing.
No travel.
No clients.
No lunches.
No appointments (well one)
Will read only for pleasure. 
Will buy junk magazines.
May stroll like a tourist in town.
Will have a massage
No set time to get up in the morning.
Minimal tasks.
No goals.
Movies in the day time on my iPad
May spend one night in local inn.

From Sunday to Sunday I'll report back.
Can this Type A pretending to be Type B face this challenge???



Monday, September 15, 2014

FATE IN ACTION


I've been wrestling with why using social media makes me cringe.
(Actually I've made other people cringe which then makes me cringe)

One reason is I have been such an unconnected friend from so many former lives/eras.  And it seems odd/rude to suddenly pop up with a jaunty 'friend me'
out of nowhere.  

Another reason is 'like me' is somewhere in between Valentine's desperation day and marketing as in making a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Sorry to say it, but we are ALL not THAT special.  

The third reason is I'm so bad and unskilled at using various social media and so I do 'wild and crazy' things, not meaning too. Some of which are funny and some, not so much.

Fourth, plain simple modesty. I think it's a good thing. I have too many 
executive clients trying to learn to be loud and assertive and to give up being modestly very good at what they do.  

It has already become on trend to unplug. It will be fun to see how that
morphs into a connected way to disconnect.

In the meantime, I have enjoyed the random surprises that come my way when I pick- a- face- any -face.  So I call it Fate in Action.  The name or face that appears is the name and face that should appear and I reach out or say "yes"  When the overly conflicted student is ready the teacher appears. 
And great lessons in humility follow.




Monday, September 8, 2014

SUMMER REDUX




I had Summer packed into two hours and it worked to fulfill the longing Summer brings in Maine even while you are enjoying it.
My dear friend called and said she was back in Maine.
That's happy news. Then she said, "Come out to my mom's house and go to the beach."  

I had lots of writing to do on various projects, I was baby-sitting for my 18 month old grand daughter and I had promised, promised, promised (liar,liar, liar) my husband to help with income taxes for a return that we had extended and extended and the time was now in our faces.

SO, of course, I went to the beach. Probably the spontaneity of the decision made it so fun. "Taxes? Beach?"  Suddenly I felt like a tourist. I loved the drive to the house with roadside  lobster stands,  flower stands and tourist restaurants.  I suddenly had a new wave of affection for my Maine. I saw it with "people from away" fresh eyes.  The sanity, the beauty, the healthy families out biking, the pridefully well-groomed homes, big or little, seemed rare and precious, NOT to be taken for granted. 

My grand daughter went into the ocean naked (unplanned trip, no bathing suit, no extra diaper) and frolicked in the freedom--of a safe welcoming uncrowded beach and accepting people who delighted in her as they walked past.
And I re-connected with my friend's mom and my grand daughter played with the toys of my friend's son and so it goes.  

So it goes you are privileged and lucky.
I am.
May I keep this in mind.



Monday, September 1, 2014

PARENT EMIRITUS



Most of you know I have five adult kids all over 35 and some grand kids too.
They are fully functioning wonderful adults but they are my children.
I'm still learning that they are just fine in the world--with me or without me!
It's a new stage to be loved but not needed.
Part relief. Part loss. 
It is their time to be in the forefront bumping into the world.

And there are great joys in this stage.
Last night I watched my daughter sing with 3 great back-up musicians.
I've seen her many times but this was my daughter at her best--sassy, loose,
improvisational and heartfelt.  A pro. (Do check out Megan Jo Wilson)

Another time I got to watch my son be the press liaison for the Dali Llama in Massachusetts. Long back story to that.  There were thousand of people, high security, pushy journalists breaking security rules and everyone wanting to see and touch the Dali. My son was on, alert, making quick decisions, guiding events, totally professional and polished----and having fun.

I could go on, giving more examples of all my "kids"--moments of their pure adult competence.

Here's how you know when your kids are truly adults:
You enjoy watching them work and are not nervous for them
If something goes wrong, you don't even think of helping.
You experience them like others in the audience do, not just as your kids
You know you could not do what they are doing.
They look to peers before they look to you for affirmation of work well done.
They handle grown-up pain on their own.

Very gratifying and weird at first. But wonderfully freeing too. Your attention can return to you.  
You are now adjunct, parent emeritus!