Sunday, January 29, 2017

I'M IN A RANDOM KIND OF MOOD -la da da dada


May just be too much coffee, but join me as I ramble.
I think the my title came from the song I WANT A SUNDAY KIND OF LOVE.
Who knows what lurks in our memory tunes file?

So:
—My daughter The Megan Jo Wilson did a CD release party last night. She was stunningly direct with her audience loving and coaching them while having fun with her music cohorts AND singing with a unique voice her own unique words of songs she wrote. She dropped f bombs while standing for love and purpose and boldness.
She rang and sang true. My son asked me how it felt to see his sister on stage in such a commanding moment.
"Was I nervous. Was I proud? Was it weird?" I answered, "No, not nervous making or weird. She's a pro at whatever she does." Proud? Of course I was with the kind of relief a parent has when an adult child steps full into who they are."  I later, laughed. After all, she is 44 years old and I am 72. I can step back and enjoy. Although I did provide red licorice for all the tables AND advised Preparation H for under her eyes when an allergy of some kind threatened to give her a balloon face!!  BUY HER CD--TIN. Digital or hold it in your hands. Five great songs.

—I'm obsessed with watching The Magnificent Century which is about Sulieman The Great, leader of the Ottoman Empire.  It was produced in Turkey. I watch in Turkish with English Subtitles although you can watch it in English. I like the sound of the Turkish and am picking up some words. (I should. There are 48 episodes)
It's a combination of Downton Abbey in Constantinople and Bollywood and a Mexican Soap Opera.
Palace intrigue galore. Based on historical events. I love a new obsession and will retreat from this writing to reading a new book on The Ottoman Empire. I am so undereducated in history. 

Tomorrow I will go to Susan Collins office (a Maine Senator) to deliver a petition encouraging her to oppose the 
nomination of Betsy DeVos for Secretary of Education. It's my husband, David's birthday tomorrow, so I could back out. Three months ago I would have. Not today. BUT guess what I just did. I went online and applied for the position of Secretary of Education. Took me two hours and I laughed as I did it. I would love to go into this Lion's Den with sincere efforts to do good. 

Last bit of random?
I hate the term self-care.  I'm not so great at it, but still I picture us wallowing in steam rooms and massage offices having manicures and pedicures and self helping ourselves while Rome burns. However I have bought the book Pu——y to reclaim myself so I am on trend!! (Who am I kidding? I can't even write the word) I guess I think self-care is what you do in order to be nourished enough to do good work but but but not so much that it becomes the work. 



Monday, January 23, 2017

GET ME TO THE NUNNERY ——OR THE NEAREST HOTEL


When I began to travel for business, especially internationally, I heard most people complain about the barren hotel rooms with too many pillows and germs. What can I say? I loved and love a hotel room of my own. For an extroverted woman executive with a large family and an old (yes lots of character) home, a fresh hotel room was heaven.

First of all it was neat and I didn't have to create the neatness. What? Neat!  And so was I.  "Stuff" was finite based on my suitcase. Minimal clutter. I could do neat. I could maintain this little pocket of neatness.

Not every woman (although recommended by Virginia Wolf) has a room of her own. Hell, sometimes a closet on one own gets invaded. No need to share or accommodate anyone but me.

Occasionally there was luxury and great service. Many times not so much. I learned to 
pack a candle which did the trick for me to create a spot of warmth and beauty. Regardless, the room was wonderfully anonymous. Packed up parts of me could emerge. I could literally hear myself think.

A new hotel room (with some time to spend in it) calmed my hectic habit.
It allowed me to listen to me. I relaxed deeply (didn't own fixing a damn thing)
and cleared gunk out of my soul and system. I rested. I clarified thoughts and feelings and priorities. No meditation needed. Being in the room that wasn't mine was its own meditation.
I left the room better aligned, me with me. 

Why am I talking about hotel rooms? Because I'm not ready to talk about
The Women's March. Of course I walked. I am now at the sage stage of feminism.
I find myself slightly stunned at the hub-bub we live in now. All of us. 
And so I am quiet until I am ready to speak. 

Where is that darn room key anyway?









Monday, January 16, 2017

HOPE FOR ME IS NOT---"The Thing With Feathers"


Today, the air will be filled with quotes of Martin Luther King, especially his words of hope and endurance. I had picked a few to share myself but knowing there will be a glut of King quotes
I began to look at other quotes about hope.

Wow. Want trite? Pap? Shallow encouragement? Go take a look at quotes on hope. But some caught my eye and rang true or rang funny or rang. Before I share them, I thought I should try my hand at talking about hope.

Mmmmm. Hawwww. Well, then. 
OK. 
Sometimes I go look for hope when I'm on empty. That usually means I make myself get active in some way. I make myself stretch to do work I don't want to do, to do something for someone else when I don't feel like it. That activation brings about some kind of energy, some priming of the pump and I get my hope back. There it is. I have my reservoir of optimism full and it fuels hope.

OR, I have unexpected fun, I laugh, I give up, I think "Oh what the hell" or I do something spontaneous, naughty, dumb rule breaking and suddenly there is joy energy which gives me hope energy for challenge. 
Hope feels like a slow drip of joy that involves waiting without despair. Not exuberant but
steadfastly positive.

PHEW. Glad that's over. You try talking about hope!
Here are some more quotes about hope that keep it real:

“If you are going through hell, keep going
― Winston S. Churchill

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
― Shel Silversteining


“Hope is the power of being cheerful in circumstances that we know to be desperate.”― G.K. Chesterton

“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.” 
― Robert FulghumAll I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten:

“If you're reading this...
Congratulations, you're alive.
If that's not something to smile about,
then I don't know what is.” 
― Chad SuggMonsters Under Your Head

Monday, January 9, 2017

OFT GANG AGLEY/ BUMPITY DAY


I have been told that Mars is in retrograde so "the best laid plans of mice and men" are going agley---every darn day. 

Evidently retrograde Mars likes to mess with technical stuff.
I feel like I live in a grotesque Toy Story with mean devices
My iPhone doesn't ring or rings randomly
My computer shows a signal but says to wait seven thousand seconds and try again. The microwave gave it up. (PS--did you know you can get a metallic blue 
microwave when you ordered silver?? Come on Marsy!) The house fire alarm goes off at the first whiff of steam. (I have grand kids who are terrified to walk by it having experienced the stark terror of the first 3 seconds of alarm)

And I have odd words to be used in describing Christmas—"off and awkward".
We did break tradition and ritual so there is that. But all the joy was before and after, not during. There were good moments but nothing worked easily. Presents were opened by the wrong people. Santa was totally confused about stockings.
Tree lights went off and on and off and on. 

My book I PRAY ANYWAY:Devotions for the Ambivalent was to be released January 1. I delayed my annual trip to Mexico to February 1. Mars messed with production and it will be released (from what?) on-----February 1 and I leave for Mexico on February 2nd. 

My granddaughter and I have a phrase we use to make light of 20 million dropped puzzle pieces, jelly down toast on the floor, lost game pieces, broken Popsicles, and (horror of horrors) an iPad with no signal. We look at one another and say, "Bumpity Day". We look at one another with wonder at "what is going on" rather than with crabby blame (that'd be me).

So, I'm looking at you with wonder saying, "Bumpity Day" and hope it makes you smile when you need it. Maybe Mars has left you alone, but here's the good news—word has it that Mars goes out of retrograde today!! I'm ready for some
'easy'.