SILENCE

Silence
Works all kinds of magic
Brings us to truth
Automatically heals
Restores hope
Brings peace
Protects our interior world
Feels sweet— eventually
And yet we blather on

That said, I will be quiet.

NOTES FROM A SUGAR COMA

Is it Monday? 
Was it Christmas?
I confess. As official Christmas celebrations came to an end last night, I settled into my chair to enjoy the lights and tree AND two of each kind of cookie I didn't eat while being busy and thinking myself prudent to avoid them. We had lots of cookies so maybe my total consumption was 18 cookies. Oh come on. You've never done this??? They were fabulous and I nibbled and tasted each one dipping into just right black coffee. Who needs alcohol. I am truly sugar hungover.

My best moments:
--decorating the house. I never know what I will do, but pull out odds and ends from Christmas' past and begin to create until I know its right. It's organic and not at all formulized like many of our holiday rituals are.

--my 82 hear old husband being pulled on a sled by my daughter's boyfriend  on the ice in our front yard and being catapulted to the finish. His laughter was better than the three kids waiting for him and caring for him and assuring him h he was all right. He was very all right.

--making green posole for a Mexican tree decorating fiesta. I was in the kitchen, alone, with Christmas music on, creating. (recipe from Epicurious is a good one)

--being just fine with a holiday that broke many rituals and traditions because flexibility was needed.  Made me think of the world in this way. Truly it did.
Old forms are falling away. New ones not created yet. And so our time is one of 
chaos and new ways are only beginning to form. What's needed? Flexibility, love, connection with people as we muddle through,more love, beauty, and hanging  on to what matters most from the past--the ornaments of our life and time. New forms will come.

I'M IN------THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT AT LAST

A good Winter snow storm did the trick
And below ten degree weather.
Created excitement, surprise cancellations
Rocked the daily rhythms
Spontaneity began to rule

Went to a Christmas concert where my daughter sang as lead vocalist and also wrote the script for the story line of the music. It was an homage (hate that word but that's what it was) to fifties like Christmas songs. My daughter sang a version of Silent Night that brought the raucous thousand or more person audience to silence. It stunned. Didn't quite fit the rest of the music but so stood out and offered a moment of a holy night and the crowd cheered.


How else do I know I'm in the spirit?
—I've lost presents I bought in the Summer
—I have no idea of what I've spent and don't care
—I am cringing about some presents already sent that I know are wrong
   (Never order after midnight)
—I am thinking of the best ever presents to compensate for the wrong ones I sent  
   and will probably order them today
—Christmas tree is up. Tree panic is over. (I always think there will be no trees 
   left and that mine is flawed. And then i think it is the best I've ever had. This
   rhythm is predictable and made fun of by everyone)
—I am perusing cookbooks to add something new to traditional food
—I am tender remembering my childhood Christmases and missing and loving
   my mom and dad and brother. 
—I have hung my childhood stocking on the fireplace mantle and those of my
    grown kids and grand kids. Seventeen in all. And worry about whether it is a
    fire hazard and shrug.
—I am happy. Excited. Doing unexpected giving is the best joy maker of all

I will not decry Christmas and the frenzy and the commercialism. There is a bubbling up of the energy of giving and abundance and pleasure and joy
and the sacred holds it own. One doesn't have to cancel out the other. Holiday rituals hold us together when the world is tugging us toward separateness. Tug back

(I share a very different Christmas Eve experience at http:\\iprayanyway.blogspot.com)

SLOW AND STEADY ACTUALLY DOES WIN THE RACE!

I am determined to savor this holiday season.  I used to savor it—back when time still existed!!   And I have vivid sense memories from that era. I remember painting wooden ornaments as if it were a Zen meditation. I wrapped gifts with care and joy. I decorated with serious creative energy and delight. There was no sense of tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. No crushing deadline. (And yes, this was when I worked and had two kids and was a single parent.) 

It's not me. It's not you. We've gone hyper if not hysterical as a culture. And it is contagious. We catch it from one another. "More, better, faster" is a horrible mantra and it hangs over our heads at work and at home.

 I come from a family of women (five sisters) that took pride in being efficient and productive. They could clean a kitchen after a large gathering quickly while talking and managing kids. I remember it well. It was not frantic or hurried. It was like a dance.
They laughed about how easily they worked in a small space without bumping into one another.

All this to say, I experimented this past week-end with slowness. I laugh as I share it because it sounds too simple and a little odd. Here's what I did; I moved more slowly.
That's it. I walked twice as slow (for those of us who are busters). No matter what I was doing, I slowed it down. Taking laundry out of the dryer. Slow. Going through holiday lights.
Slow. Reading a book. Slower. (I gobble my books)

I did add two other things. I carried my iPad with me and listened to classical and Christmas music almost continuously. If I parked myself for awhile, I lit a candle.
I was stunned at the difference slow made. And I got more done than I had planned.

Right before I headed (slowly) to bed I read an article from The Harvard Medical School on happiness; "Current research is confirming what many of us have heard from our elders and spiritual leaders: satisfaction comes with being engaged, doing good, and focusing on the present."  And literally slowing down is the medium for all of it.

YAWN-----

Get out the candles
Build a stack of books
Add some junk magazines
Through in some catalogues
Find everything flannel
Dig out the popcorn
Buy a barrel of butter
Fluff the pillows
Have slippers in every room
Yawn big
Let the darkness tell you when to sleep
Let every waistband be elastic
Doze sitting up
Gather the kindling
Make a daily soup
Listen to Vivaldi
Turn inward
Be an introvert
IT'S HIBERNATION TIME!!!
z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z