Monday, September 30, 2013

RANT N CANT


I have been out and about more than usual lately given that recluse has become my default position.
 I have been with friends and colleagues and family and clients and new acquaintances.  Red, blue, young, old, mostly all intelligent and nice.

Still I am stuck in small talk unless I want a personal Homeland Security Guard to protect me in conversation.   If I throw out hot words like Syria, Obamacare, gun, God, 1%, Palestine/ Israel--- (fill in your own taboo of choice) there spews a sudden Mount Vesuvius of words.  Even from quite reserved types.  Blah Blahddy blah blahddy blah.  I am seared.  My hands are up in front of my face.  
And this is with people I know and like.

So many beyond strong opinions.  So many words and phrases used over and over again depending which side of the opinion track you live on.  Such narrow ditches have been dug to protect these opinions from being accessible to new possibilities. So defended.

I am talking about people on almost any side of the hot topics of our day.
One word and the result  feels like pressing a button to dispense a cup of ranting and raving.

I don't trust any strong black or white opinion--at least not for making decisions and taking action.
The more simple the argument gets the more I don't believe it.
And I am not an easy person to shut up.
And I am not wish washy.
But I am getting quieter and quieter and quieter.
Beaten down my the anvil of already formed opinion.
And when I  work to be  informed and open, the complexity of most hot issues is what strikes me.
The patience and time  it would take to get clear and then converse.
The seemingly insurmountable task of creating open space to think together.


If I ran a "salon", I would ask six violently opposed (easy) people to come together (harder).
Three on one side and three on the other of their favorite rant topic.
I would have them give 3 things to read to their co-thinkers/opposition.
That would be the common ground of fact and rationale.
Then I would ask them to define the core dilemma and create an approach for its resolution.  Only silence or agreement with points made could be used to work, talk and think their way to new resolution.

Does the word "hysterical" ring a bell?  "Uncontrolled extreme emotion"!
The world needs a nap or a big time out til it can take part in the big people's table as adults.

Lest this become rant, I'm going to work at getting in behind the wall of rant n cant this week.  Asking for more depth to understand, being curious about the fear behind the rigid opinion and assuming goodwill as I listen.  Dieting would be easier.











Monday, September 23, 2013

SO GLAD YOU ARE OUT THERE





I set a goal for myself to write two weekly blogs for one year.
To see if I would maintain the discipline and to see if I enjoyed it.
One personal and one professional.

Funny thing about goals.
Or lists.
They have a specific focus and one of the things they do is help you to say "no" to everything that is NOT the goal or focus.

Well, I set a goal to write.
Wasn't thinking so much about being read.
I just had words to get out of my system so I could put more in.
Sort of an extreme readers' dilemma.

Anyway, I am beginning to hear from more and more of you.
And I love it.
I'm a talker so I love conversation and dialogue.
More like we're at the table together and less like I have a homework assignment.

On some anal day, I'll try to build in more interactivity.
Right.

Anyhow, thank you.  Very fun.

And great lesson about goals.
How to make them specific enough to get the job done, but not so narrow you leave out the most important (and so obvious as to be invisible) part.

I want you to read what I write
And I want to hear your thoughts.
There.  Better goal.



Monday, September 16, 2013

FROM THE SUBLIME TO THE RIDICULOUS AND BACK AGAIN



It's been a dumb week for me.
Many ridiculous things going blooey at the same time.
Refrigerator gone.  Rotting food stashed all over the basement
Long awaited  new eyeglasses don't work.
Three pair.  Deemed necessary by doctor. All off.  
Blurry is me.  Reverting to ancient glasses.  Constant headache.
Lost everything--car keys, house phone, passport.
Red spills on white stuff.
You know what I mean.  I hope you know what I mean.
RIDICULOUS

Now for sublime.
I am a God searcher wannabe believer.
I am way well read in theology and all the major religions.
God has become a celebrity by the way.
Love or hate.
Anyway, my husband and I have been reading in Sufism.
I got such relief from the Islam 99 names for God
Each carries an aspect of God.  Different focus good for different human issues.
The are often all named in a chant--just to cover all the bases.
Check it out on You Tube.  99 names of god chanted--ish.

Anyway it freed me up because I think God is just one ruined word.
One ruined stereotype.
In the sky, white beard giving out goodies and punishing too.
It kind of embarrasses me.  For Godness.
This mystery can't be cornered or contained or named.
So the 99 names of God made my week.
There are at least as many in Christianity.
So I want that Cistine Chapel  God image and name out of my searching.
And so the SUBLIME.

And now back to the slime of rotted vegetables.
Life is truly funny.  
But only from a distance.
I could use some.



Monday, September 9, 2013

WHERE DID THE MIDDLE GO?




I once had a real hot headed fight with a business colleague in front of many people.
Not the smartest thing to do.
And we were arguing about "the middle".  And what it was and why it was needed.  
It was irritatingly esoteric to everyone but the two of us.
The meeting leader called a break and everyone left us to figure it out.
We had been in the middle (not meant to be ironic, I swear) of working on a "vision" for a crucial work project and it kept degenerating into tiny execution details.  We were either in the clouds or in the forest of tasks to be done.  I was arguing for a middle ground between vision and minute detail.

Well I still am.  Arguing for the middle that is.

We as a planet are screaming with the need for more "middle"

But what we have is:
Upper class or middle class
God raving or God forsaking
Blindly committed red or blue voters 
Cynical with dark despair or pumped up hyper optimism
Over paid executives or poverty paid entry level workers
Blind faith or blind atheist
Hawks or doves
Global warning or environmental scoff laws
Religion or science

I want more middle ground, more moderate discourse, less drama.
It is the middle path that leads to sanity, to the greatest good for the greatest number.
It is so tempting to match extreme for extreme.


According to the Buddha, the Middle Way is a life lived between the extremes of self-denial and self-indulgence.   Doesn't that sound good?  How do we (you and I) begin walking the middle path as a way of growing common ground step by step by excruciating step?















Monday, September 2, 2013

NOT EVERYBODY HAS A DREAM




I have a dream but---

Who am I to have a dream?
I wonder if its worth the effort
I want to take care of myself and work less
It evaporates when I talk about it
Someone criticized it when I first mentioned it
I am too old to pursue it
I don't have to time for it
I don't have the skill to do it
I assume the cynicism of the world will kill it
I don't want to be exposed
I'm a private person
I don't have the money
No one is interested in it
I know it isn't practical
I put it on the shelf for later
I'ts  too grandiose 
I'm not that special and neither is my dream
Who cares, everybody has dreams


GUESS WHAT?  NOT EVERYBODY DOES HAVE A DREAM.
So if you do, get over it and get on with it.

What are your reasons to give up your dream?
I just shared some of mine!!
Get them out of your head where you can look at them.
And guess what?  With or without a dream most of  the above could be true.
Could.
So why not work the dream?
Might be easier than working to let it go.

With MLK in mind