NO MATTER WHERE I GO---I'M NOT THERE

Or, perhaps, better put--"No matter where I go I am everywhere."
That sounds grandiose but I think I mean it.
I have gone virtual in my sense of  home.
I love it and I hate it.

I am used to travel.  I traveled globally  on a regular basis for my work. And  I have five adult children, some far flung, that my husband and I try to visit at least once a year.  And I live in Mexico for four months or more every year.

And it used to be that I kind of shut off one world while I was in another.
I mentally hit "yellow" and minimized the other world while my real self  came to the fore in the new world.
Do I sound nuts?
I would email of course, but my core was where my body was.
I switched gears and shut off the other world.
Now it is different.
My core is where my computer is.
Everyone exists with equal reality and attention all the time.

I love it.
I get daily videos of my newest grandchild.
I am constant touch with my extended family who are in crisis of various sorts.
Friends expect contact just like a regular lunch date.
I sense my "people" all the time in a very real sense.
I work easily with global clients no matter where I am.
I play games with people all over the world.

I have a son I play on-line Scrabble with who kills me at the game.  I love my son and would like to clobber the guy I play with.  See what I mean about disorientation?

And I hate it

I am in Mexico and my friends and family in Maine feel more real than those here.

And vice -versa.

For instance a friend in Mexico had very serious surgery.  I e-mailed him frequently from Maine.  Now I am in Mexico and I still e-mail him way more than I see him.

I have no excuse not to be in touch with people when I want a respite from contact.

I shut myself off from the physical world for the virtual.

It is a beautiful morning in Mexico right now.  Cool breeze, pepper trees swaying,  bougainvillea shockingly bright and this screen is a magnet for my attention.

I am talking about a profound shift not just email tribulations.

I carry so much more with me all the time.  Even in a good way, it is too rich.

So many possibilities that all are slightly diluted.

So many more people to care about in an up-close way.

Let me be clear.

I like it more than I don't.

But I remember postcards and privacy, so I am getting my bearings in a new way about simultaneous

"being together"  all of the time.

How nuts am I?

Does this make sense to anyone else?

No matter where I go, I am everywhere.