WHAT WOULD CHANGE FOR YOU?

If you never looked in a mirror again?

If you never saw another advertisement?

If you could never have duplicates of anything in your house?

If you knew everyone you interacted with was trustworthy?

If you would forgive the one person in the world you don't want to forgive?

If you spoke your truth to the one person you are furious with?

If you everyone had a set limit for "enough" but an infinity of choice within it?

If your realized that each moment is  perfect just like all the sages say it is?

If you thanked each regret for the lesson learned?

If you accepted that you are not wildly special?

If you thought enjoyment was your job.

Just thinking out loud!

BIG ADMISSION: I FORGET ABOUT NATURE

I have run away from home for a long week-end in Rangeley, Maine at our "camp". 
This is my third day here and I haven't left the house.
Now, I did need retreat.
BUT, I am surrounded by extraordinary "nature" that I can literally ENTER by taking 15 steps out of the back door of the house.
At home-home, I can be IN the ocean in ten minutes.
And I forget to do it.
I'm not propelled to be "in" nature. (Do not say this out loud in Maine)
I don't need to climb it, hike it, camp in it or any other exertion- necessary thing.
Don't get me wrong. I want it there. I love being surrounded by beauty.
Coffee is best by a stream.
A book is most enjoyable under a huge Virgin forest tree.
Being contemplative is best done on pine needles.
Looking at deer while eating oatmeal is perfection.
I write this sitting under an apple tree in order to have an Internet signal.
It's not laziness, actually.
I grew up in a steel city--Gary, Indiana. Nature was a pocket backyard.
A Bridal Wreath bush was my wildness.
My adult kids tackle nature, revel in nature, hunger for the wild.
I forget that wildness is there for my taking even while close to it.
Another habit to change.

ELIZABETH BARRET BROWNING OR DOROTHY PARKER?

I thought of both of these ladies today. 

I stepped off the world this week-end and just read and read and read.
I made coffee every once in a while, I murmured responses to my husband while not listening and put in a load of laundry periodically to assuage my guilt.
(I always resented a phrase used at my work in food retailing--"non-productive time" which was how training and learning and communicating were classified!!)
I would classify my week-end as incredibly productive in measures of
life satisfaction, desire to learn more, pleasure per hour, health restoration
and general good stuff and well-being.

Back to Liz and Dotty!
They had their individual problems, ill health and alcoholism respectively.
But here's what they had that I envied today:

Neither ran a household.
Liz was sickly.  Dotty lived in a hotel.
Both spent their time exactly as they chose.
Reading and writing and to hell with all else.
Both were feminists in work and action albeit in very different ways.
Both hung out with contemporary colleagues on a regular basis focused on common work.
Elizabeth had a very lovely true love and lived with him in Italy til her death.
And Dorothy was a "dame"--brash and funny and bold.

And they wrote well.

MEMORIAL DAY IN THE UNITED STATES

Was not going to write today. It's Memorial Day in the United States when we honor our military dead.
A day off.  A Holiday.  A BanK Day.
All I had to do was say, "See you tomorrow, readers".
And I couldn't seem to do it.
So here I am.

While people picnic and drink beer and throw Frisbees, I feel uncommonly solemn.  After a busy social week-end, I am ready for some solitude.
And not enjoying it.  

I am sad for every person killed and for every person who had to kill in service.
I am sad for every family that has been ruptured.
I am sad for any cause that makes people think it is morally good to kill someone.
I am sad that the response to madness seems to have to be more madness.
I am sad for our world that we don't know how to have conflict without killing..

I have fond childhood memories of what was then called Decoration Day.
My blue collar neighborhood had a flag on every porch.
We, kids, decorated the spokes of our bikes with red, white and blue crepe paper and circled our street in one continuous flow.  (Forty kids in one block)
My mom made corsages for my teachers of blue bachelor buttons, white Mock Orange and a red rose from our back yard.  It was done. No currying favor.  
She also had my teachers over for end of school lunch. Blue collar gentility.
Decoration Day was proud.  We loved our "soldiers", we loved a feeling of victory, and we loved decorating to remember them.  

So, yes, I feel sober today. 
I keep hearing Tiny Tim, celebrating a different holiday saying, "God bless us, everyone". Indeed.

DIGGING FOR JOY

I know so many people who are in trying situations, facing real deal trials of love, health, family, work, money, meaning, conflict and all the other kind of stuff we humans bump seem to have to manage. (I'm talking big trials not the daily irritation kind.) And it's made me a little curmudgeonly and sour.

I have read many a book on positive thinking, purposeful thinking, manifestations of good thinking and religious thinking that help us chase happiness. Some of the reading is pure 'pap' and some are profound.

What I do know from my experience is shifting perspective from the negative to the positive is an essential skill and that gratitude is the vehicle. Usually I'm quite good a joy but today—not so much. So I decided to dig for my joy.

Shovel by shovel:

News of brave new efforts for good of any kind bring me joy and hope.
Please check out www.ronclarkacademy.com that brings new methods to teaching. Double joy that my adult daughter brought me to this news.

Learning something new for the purpose of creating. I'm going to learn Garage Band at the Apple Store so I can produce programs for far away grandchildren.

Thinking about all the wonderful books I have in front of me with cups of coffee to accompany them.

Using my brand new professional quality colored pencils to mess around with a cover for the book I've written; I PRAY ANYWAY--Devotions for the Ambivalent.

Reading cookbooks.

Writing--almost anything

New ideas used in a practical way

Remembering people who love me who don't have to

Looking at a newly planted window box--neat and tidy and ready for growth

Stories from my adult kids about things that please and excite them

Stretching beyond habit and fear to new adventure no matter how minuscule

Breaking my own rules that are restrictive rather than expanding

Stopping when I am finished.

And I am. Joy glimmers. Had to dig today.

ACCEPTING DIFFERENCES MAKES ME NUTS AND IS THE SKILL OF THE FUTURE OF OUR PLANET

How's that for a grandiose statement?
Pardon me, I'm in a hurry.
Babysitting for granddaughter today.

Why this topic when I have to hurry?
Well, it's my burp today.

My husband and I are very different (not in values or interests)
We go through the day differently.
We make decisions differently
Our aesthetic is different
We wend our way around this until we don't
Then it's a giant pain.  We are both trained coaches which means we fight with
finesse!!!

There comes a point of acceptance, meaning one of you giving up what you want for the common good.  How often?  How chronically?  How generously?  How balanced?
All good questions. Hard even to answer under one roof. (PS-I know there are relationships that are magically aligned about everything. Congratulations!)

What I really think about is the world. Different races, different cultures, different economic systems, different values, different differences will have to learn to suck it up and dig deep to accept one another for the greater good of survival.  So let's  practice where we can.  I want a no victim world.  

START BY DISCARDING ALL AT ONCE, INTENSELY AND COMPLETELY

That title is a quote from the life-changing magic of tidying up by Marie Kondo.
It's a best seller and quite good.

The issue of clutter and simplifying is, as they say, "on trend".  It's in every 
magazine. I have a daughter who says reading about de-cluttering makes her nervous especially because she bought yet another object (magazine or book)
to think about it instead of doing it. There's a double bind for you!

How did this happen? How did we get so over-stuffed? As I look back, I had an odd and good dynamic in my childhood. I had everything I wanted AND nothing that I didn't want. I had the bike I wanted. I had the prom dress I wanted. 
I had the lessons I wanted. There was no extra. There were no resources for extra. I could name right now my childhood books and most of my high school clothes—with relish and fond memories. I can't do the same with my closet right now or my book shelf.

Liked, clogged arteries, the stuff sneaks up on you. Why now and not then?
—We all began to think we were rich so we acted like it. Advertising supported it and credit cards accelerated it.
—Shopping became recreation and therapy and that idea is looked at as valid
—Modern life is anxiety producing and over-buying (like over-eating) is soothing
—The momentary stimulation of "new" feels good and relieves little and big pain
—We are numb to excess because of so much excess. We've forgotten what "just enough" feels like, how good "just enough" can be.
—Most purchases are impulse rather than considered due to time and availability. We've forgotten how to choose the exact right thing. We buy one or two or three and hope one of them works.
—The instability of both our personal and global world makes us have to have it now, because we don't trust the tomorrow that's coming. Or in other words, the worlds a mess, so I'll buy that purse, that car, that boat, those shoes and worry later. Delayed worrying is consumer denial.

I have set a new environmental psychological,aesthetic, ethical standard for my self. I want only what I want and nothing that I don't. Now to get that into my DNA and my daily practice! I'd love some comments from you about "stuff"—
how you manage it, think about it, love it, leave it, whatever.