QUESTIONS FOR THE MAVEN???

I often think I am going to write about one thing and then out of nowhere comes another idea. An idea burp. This idea makes me laugh because it’s both foolish and wise.  In other words it makes me happy.

I write because I want to connect and because I have lived long enough to have some wisdom and some foolishness to share.

I know when to cry and when to laugh.  I know when to persevere and when to lie fallow.  I know my own shadow and my radiance. I am on the cusp of realizing that every darn thing is precious and the closer I get to whatever comes after this experience of living makes everyday more intense. I know not to waste my breath. I say a louder “yes” and a louder “no”. I have a living compendium of mistakes and regrets that are the bedrock of my personal wisdom.

I just had a birthday.  I am now 72 years old. Old people, I’m talking old. Age. Aging. Lovely, smart, experienced, seasoned, humorous, knowledgeable, OLDER than many. Maybe our culture is ready to revere aging to see the richness it brings. AND to see how it can guide those who are younger.

Research is beginning to show that our  20,30,40, 50 (maybe 60 year- olds) are anxious about purpose and how to live a life. It’s hard to get to know your future self and how to grow into it. Life coaching helps, but it is a profession of younger people. So the trick is to find someone a lot older who is a future self you could be. Then ask for advice and soothing and experience and partnership. 

Here I am. Ask me. 

questionsforthemaven@gmail.com

SABBATICAL, SCHAMMATICAL.

Back a day late!!  Was I fooling?  No just out of it.  My granddaughter and crew arrived yesterday.  I was busy cutting out tiny tacos from legal pad paper to serve on the world's smallest tea set.  

My so called Sabbatical didn't do much for me other than reassure me that this is what I want to be doing. I wrote to you in my head anyway.  Hope you enjoyed my telepathic messages.

Frankly my break was a little too social for me at this stage in my life. And I didn't go away so it was not the kind of refreshing you get from a vacation to, say,Tahiti. Solitude maybe would have done the trick. 

So what was did happen?

-- I concentrated more on the people I was with and didn't worry about writing deadlines. (Or told myself to wait to worry)  

--I learned that I don't like a break from writing

--I found out that you can do jig-saw puzzles on the iPad!! (Maybe doing just one more would be OK before I finish talking with you)

--I found out that I was fatigued for a reason.  I had typhoid and was finally diagnosed properly in Mexico.  I think my US doctor (who is younger than my kids) thought I was a whiner. I kept saying "I feel weird like I have some tropical disease" or something.  SO I ONCE AGAIN LEARNED TO TRUST MY INTUITION

--I didn't read more than I normally do.  I didn't do much different for my health. I didn't use the time to "improve".  

--Other than the too many people, here's what I did. I lay fallow. Passive.  Following my own nose. Lazy. Caught my breath. Let myself be listless--as in without lists.

Maybe I did kind of like my Sabbatical, now that I write about it---which is why I write---to you.

I share my granddaughters question and answer.  She is three.  She asked if I'd be dead someday.  (We had just killed a thousand legger--no Bhuddist I guess)  I said, "Yes, I would, not believing it for a minute while knowing it to be true." I waited for her to ask the heaven question and wondered what pap I would dig into to respond. Didn't have to.  She said, "When you die you go to Christmas!  There then.  Mystery solved.





--

ON SABBATICAL TIL APRIL 1ST!!!

I am starting a true Sabbatical starting tomorrow morning--meaning taking a break from the normal schedule and studying and traveling.
Talk with you on April 1st unless I'm fooling.  We'll see.

FELIZ CUMPLEANOS DON DAVID!!

I think I'll take some time to say "Happy Birthday" to my husband who turned
81 yesterday and is way younger than he was when I met him and deserves
public celebration.  (This in no way means I give-up all the inherent irritations of being married to a real person who isn't me---if you know what I mean. If you don't, some day you WILL. End of disclaimer)

What I celebrate about Don David:

--Vitality  He has it, he likes it in others and he gravitates toward it. And he is at the stage of life where he doesn't have to tamp it down for duty. 

--Appreciation. He is called the Great Appreciator in our family. Music, food,
buildings, photos, people get rave reviews on the spot as " best, astounding,
magical, unbelievable, gorgeous".

--Curiosity. I'm talking about wide ranging unstoppable interest in esoteric anything.  David ranges from crop circles to ancient alien theorists, to new physics to distance healing to Byzantine art.  

--Character.  He has the New England  Cranky Yankee strength of character. He tells his truth, keeps his word, honors commitments and woe to people who offend his sense of justice and fairness. He has a kind of Moses voice that appears out of nowhere to rectify wrong and embarrass his family.

--Passion. Enough said.

--Intellect. He may not remember to buy cat food but this man knows his literature, his philosophy, his history, and his Jazz musicians. He knows his stuff.

--Steadfastness. Once he is in, he is in. He can stay at a task longer than anyone I know. He will keep his word when it is nuts to do it. He puts his stake in the ground and it stays. 

--Knowing no age. He says, "I'm at the age when I should no longer know how old I am."  And he doesn't.  Let's put it this way.  He just bought a bike to ride in our town in Mexico that is all cobblestones and hills. He is engaged in projects that are long range and innovative. He is a constant learner-- of Spanish, of social media, and most importantly, about himself.  He is working on being a better person, loving better and living in gratitude not complaint.

Saint David!!! Nope, nope, nope. Let me count the ways he isn't.  But not today.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR DON DAVID.  

I WILL ALWAYS DANCE IN THE KITCHEN

I'm a kitchen dancer with kids, with grandchildren, with my husband.  
When the happiness gets to be too much and there is a good song, then one has to dance.
And the kitchen is where joy is.
Was thinking about how I have never felt any age for long. Changes by the hour.
My parents never did notice their are and died surprised that they were mortal.
Anyway, I wrote the following reflection:



KITCHEN DANCER

I am known for a kind of joy I carry
Nothing makes me happier than a rule well broken
Just a little naughtiness makes my day
And so I don't act my age
Mainly because I don't know it
But I've decided to let myself get older
More deep peace
More forgiveness
More letting go of achievement
More noodling on the miracles
But I will always dance in the kitchen
And break a rule that needs it

THOUGHTS ON THE EVE OF TRAVEL

In the midst of packing for Mexico, my college friend sent this message as she packed for vacation.  Sums it all up.  Where's my passport anyway?

"tonight's intermission prompt: your term, ambivalence. 

the ambivalence of travel.

on one hand, the ease of being at home.

home requires no serious effort.

home is the luxury and sloth of familiarity.  

home accommodates individuality, inconsistency.

home is laissez faire and carte blanche.

home is autonomy, solely what i choose to do or not do. 

home is a bottomless suitcase.

travel is exactly the opposite. 

travel's draw is the greener grass on the other side of the fence:

stretching oneself,

extending oneself,

intentionally uprooting oneself,

down-sizing things in order to expand perspective and

experience,

exercising flexibility,

stimulating awareness,

choosing to disrupt habits, uproot and transplant self to provoke dynamism. 

ambivalence: the state of contradictory feelings.

the perfect term to describe the duality and paradox of human nature."

AT LAST, CHRISTMAS!!

Last week, I think I wrote on Facebook (one never knows) that "Now that Christmas is over, I'm ready for it!"

I wrote the following reflection on the 23rd of December (from I PRAY ANYWAY)

I have undone holiday tasks
Like a Santa bag of burden
I like to give, love to give
But the clock ticks
I am full of love not given on time
Cards not sent, words not spoken
Hurrying to give, give, give—
Whoa Nelly
Stop and receive
Pause for gratitude—
There
Time opens up
Now, continue
Stay expanded

Nice message. But low on the list I was checking twice.
So last night Christmas came to me
A blown set of lights on the tree was driving me nuts.
So I turned the darn tree around.
Getting close I smelled the pine and hugged the tree to turn it.
I knew what I had to do.
I turned off all the lights, put down all the books, and sat.
David in bed. Quiet house. 
Contentment bloomed. (That IS what it felt like)
I went up to bed at 3 am.
Had my Christmas.

You may get a Valentine's Day card from me. That's my fall back plan.
GOOD YEAR TO YOU ALL.