SO MUCH TALENT, SO LITTLE SUPPORT

Where to start?
I think this is what has struck me this week.  There are just so many talented people in this world.  That's one point.  And the second is, much of this talent has to struggle to find a place to express it, use it, grow it, and more importantly, make some money with it. And the third is, there are places and people who work to solve this lack of connection between artists and survival.

I took my husband to a doctor's appointment.  Two women in the waiting room were busy creating.  One was hooking an original rug that was sophisticated and gorgeous (I say this in case you are thinking macrame of the 70's) and the other was knitting a complicated afghan in a cashmere creamy color. High level skill.custom artistry.  Where to show them and sell them was the question.
Let me mention Cia--a coffee in South Portland who is dedicated to displaying local artists. Thank you Cia

I've written a book and need a cover design. Before working with a local artist,
I went onto oDesk.  The amount of talent on this site is shockingly large and shockingly good.  It's an online free-lance market place for artistic talent.
I talked with talent from Macedonia, France, Sweden and the Philippines.  The portfolios are fun to go through. Thank you oDesk.

My daughter sings with three different groups.  Adult groups. They play for the love of their art. Yes, she loves her day job but she also loves her song. And so she and her colleagues schlep and drive long distances and haul equipment for the pleasure and the creative expression of performing and maybe just enough money for gas and dinner.  Last week was different. They performed at The Stone Mountain Arts Center in Brownfield, Maine. Here artists are treated royally. Lovely venue, well equipped. Delicious hot meal ready for performers  after sound check. Hot coffee,water, beer, wine at the ready.  Living room setting for the Green room.  \No sticky floor and stale doughnuts.  Even a cake with the bands name on it was on the table. No food or drink during performances. The audience comes to listen. After the performance, homemade pizza just in case artists were hungry. My daughter's group was stunned and giddy and ecstatic with gratitude.  And got paid a decent wage. Thank you Stone Mountain Arts Center

I won't even get started on books. I have a good eye for finding books that I will like. I am rarely disappointed. I read one book about every three days and don't run out of unique well written books. This not only means, I'm a profound bookworm, but that also, there are so many good authors out there. I am glad for self-publishing for the hope that it brings to isolated dedicated writers. Thank you CreateSpace, lightningsource, and all the other new channels for writers. No more arrogant agents blocking the way.

Wow, I'm getting up a head of steam. What am I--an NPR campaign host?
We need our artists to enhance our lives, to say what we don't yet know, to bring beauty that soothes and inspires when the News does not and to hint at the transcendent. I can't stand budget cuts for the arts and I thank everyone that does a part in supporting talent of all kinds.  What if everyone had help finding their gift and using it?  I mean everyone.  What would happen to hate?

"Artists are the radical voices of civilization"  Harry Belafonte (I watched the Oscars)

I'VE GONE GROGGY AND I THINK I LIKE IT

Something about this long and brutal (and beautiful) Winter has put me to sleep.  Every night when I get under the covers in a cold bedroom, I feel like "ma in her kerchief and pa in his cap" who have just settled down, "for a long Winter's nap."

 Here's what I like: 

--Things get cancelled. More breathing space on my calendar.

--The world is literally quieter, muted by snow piles shoulder high.

--I like the beauty that is so shockingly odd if you think about it.  We are living 
   in powdered ice and acting like it isn't extraordinary. My friends in Mexico
   still don't believe it's possible.

--I do feel shut out from the larger world. I feel held in and I like it.
  I put off doing things. Deadlines are apt to be changed because of weather
  and seem more gentle. 

--I am kind of frozen like the world. As care for personal safety and even 
  survival come to the front, the rest of the world recedes during a dramatic
  blizzard day.  I am suspended for a while.

Lucky me. I have warmth.  I have resources.  And for a day, I forget that
we live in a world that still settles big problems like Barbarians an in an environment swirling with hate.  I prefer the blizzard

DOES YOUR OWN BRAIN ENTERTAIN YOU?

You already know I am a bookworm, I think. I have a busy brain that ranges widely. I don't bore easily and I seem to have a good
innate nose for what interests me.  In other words, I'm picky but still rarely dissatisfied with a book, an interest, an article, or a new approach. But if I am not interested, I give up easily because I can count on finding something better.

Back in the day of having to lug books rather than an iPad I always traveled with at least seven books or I would get nervous about my next fix.  I'm either very eclectic or just nuts. For instance today, I read about Christian women mystics,
The 22 immutable Laws of Marketing, All  the Light We Cannot See, every wedding announcement in the New York Times, The Book Review, a wonderful Mexican cook book, and an article on book design and fonts.  

I've always wondered what I would do if I couldn't get to books or vice-versa and if I had enough in my own brain to keep me entertained. (Should I admit this? It's true.)

Anyway for those of you who want to pack your brains with stuff to think about if the books run out, I recommend this site  brainpickings.org  Go to it.  Click on anything that tickles your fancy. Then do it again. And again. Only going where your curiosity gets piqued. Then let your brain do its thing--juggle it all around and put it together differently to entertain you.

My entertainment for the day---Can your nose smell the inside of your nose??

ARE YOU THE CEO? DON'T FORGET TO GIVE YOURSELF A PROMOTION

It's so easy to let yourself slip down into the lowest level accountabilities of your job description.  Especially if your company is in a particularly challenging passage. It's so tempting and easy to begin to micro-manage.  You might actually think you  know how to do the jobs of your direct reports (not).
And you can feel busy and like a good boss collaborating with your team. Or you can think you are setting high standards by picking on their work (so not).

At your level and that of your direct reports, you should all be doing something you don't know how to do and that you are not yet good doing. Most people have to stretch into a new promotion. It is a learning curve moment--or learning cliff.  You get to feel validated for past performance and more than a little nervous about the demand for new results and contribution. It's only a good promotion if stretch is involved. Otherwise you have promoted too late and are simply giving recognition.

SO, listen up CEO's.  Give yourself a promotion.
Look up.
Look out
Look new
Look fresh
Look excited
Look differently
Give yourself a new job description. Out of the ordinary.  Into the future.

Give yourself the job you really want where the risk activates you and doesn't wear you down with the grim familiar responsibility of everyday CEO ness.

WITHOUT WORDS DUE TO HAPPINESS

I will dig around in my happiness to find some words, but not many.
All my adult kids were in the house this week-end.  That  would be five.

We celebrated their dad's birthday.
We decided to keep it sloppy and lazy and easy.

Everyone flew or drove in, put on their flannel and settled in.
There was one late afternoon snow walk and forays out to the best bakery in the world (Scratch in South Portland, Maine) but that was it.
Other than that, we drifted in and out of conversations and marveled that some people slept in rooms they had never slept in before!

The best part for me was falling asleep hearing my kids laugh and knowing they were all safe (that's a left over from teen-age years).

So I have no more words for today.  Happiness trumps talk.
Then again, I am still in a carbo/ sugar coma.
(And the Patriots did win)

ALWAYS SAY YOU HAVE A FEVER!

OK. I can't help myself.  I'm going to add to the rant about health care.
Ever since I decided to put my health first, I've been sick.
Go figure.
Without giving the whole darn story, let's just say in the past three months, I've had a heart catheterization, a CTA, an MRI, and a full blown (what else would it be?)lung test.  These were prudent. I had chest tightness whenever I started y new get healthy exercise routine. Each ruled out important stuff like lung cancer and heart pumping ability.  The actual hands on care was excellent.  The communication of results and action to take was like a bad game of children's 
"telephone gossip"  Every single person wanting to do a good job and feeling blocked by time or staffing or ridiculous rules and hard to use computer programs that had tough to fill out screens. 

So mid-December I get sick.
Now at the end of January, I have been truly treated and am getting well. More than six weeks of non-functional illness.
Once again, people wanting to do good work.
I saw 7 different care givers--doctors or nurse practitioners.  Never the same one twice.  I am being treated for acute bronchitis, ear infection and conjunctivitis.  

Here's what I learned:
--In the GP world I used, everyone was on some kind of part time schedule or worked in several sites.  Very hard to see "my" doctor on short notice. No one person saw me twice.

--Each person's orientation to treatment was very different, alternative or more traditional, anti-biotic adverse or not, listener or talker.

--The obsessive check lists often blocked thinking and integration of symptoms.
For instance, my lungs  sounded clear and so many things were ruled out UNTIL
protocol was followed more closely. When I was asked (finally) to breath into a spirometer, my lungs were highly compromised.
  
--My mood and talk influenced caretakers more than it should have. I hate to admit to being sick and usually try to tell the doctor how well I am or tough or stubborn.  So I would laugh about my many visits and "ailments".  I would very progressively say I was hesitant to take an anti-biotic.  I told them the results of my big tests that were good.  With caretaker number six, I said, "Look I'm dying. I can't go on like this. I have a big celebration coming up. It's been like this since mid-December!!"  I'm on an anti-biotic and Prednisone. (That explains the rant!)  I feel good, people.

--I knew I was very sick before Christmas.  I called in to see if I should come in and If I were too contagious for my family guests.  Wrong questions!!!  My bad.
The nurse practitioner looked only at the question.  I had had to take an anti-biotic for a toe infection so she thought that would also protect my being contagious. She asked if I wheezed. I said, "no".  Later my son said I sounded like a cat purring.  My self reporting was wrong. I needed to be seen and I should have asked to be seen not if I needed to be seen. 

--It's hard to be an advocate for yourself when you are sick.

--Listen to  friends and family when they say they are worried about you.
That's what got me off the dime to try one more time to get at least up to the standard of "not sick"  to try again  for real health.

PS--Always say you have a fever


  

SEQUESTERED FOR 3 AND A HALF DAYS!

My husband went to visit on of our adult kids for a long week-end.
I decided to give myself what I say I long for.
I cancelled any obligations I had and settled.

Turns out I actually want what I long to have.
But it sounds easier than it is to make happen in our culture.

First, it took lots of calendar juggling to create the free space.
Second, I had to calm my "get things done" inner junkie and not use the time to do a major household task.
Third I had to be more conscious about what to do with the emptiness.

I decided to read without purpose, to sit and think.
I set up in  front of the fireplace shifting my favorite chair to face it.
And i made the bedroom zen like and put white lights on a four foot grapefruit tree plant (planted with the seed of a grapefruit from the birth of my first baby--ahhhh)  I love it. 

I think I most enjoyed quiet mornings with no talk and I'll make this happen more often.  It was a gentle way to begin a day.
It takes awhile to settle into solitude so the truest day was Saturday.  
I read two books. The phone did not ring. No television. No online. Books, me, coffee, fire. I read a memoir, LITTLE HEATHENS, that could have been written my my mom about childhood on an Iowa farm. Perfect. Then I blew it.  I decided to read GONE GIRL for the fun of it. Fine. Except that I had already read it before it became what it is AND didn't realize it soon enough. I wont' say more.  No spoiler here.

Sunday I began to have the end of vacation heebie-jeebies because I had invited my daughter and family to watch football. Discipline slippage.  Thought I'd be ready for people. And I mostly was. I had a slow simmer of cabin fever going.

And now Monday comes with a flood of the undone.
I leave soon to pick up my husband and my everyday life.

We are one crazy busy culture.  Sequester for three days and find your own speed again--the one that doesn't adjust to demand from the outside.